Chopsticks

So many people always criticize me when I eat chips and other foods with chopsticks. Why do I do it? Well it's cause I don't like that greasy feeling all over my hands! I'd rather not get dripping sauces or leaky grease onto my fingers. They are just sensitive in that way. But apparently I'm not the only one that thinks this is good:

Ha so take that negative nannies that don't approve of my "strange" habit.

Windows XP

Don't you hate it when Windows XP does something like:

To be fair, it's generally Windows's fault when something like this occurs. A lot of it has to do with third party hardware and software that is running on the computer. Since Microsoft does not control what is being run on the computer as strictly as Apple does, many developers write sloppy drivers and whatnot that don't end up playing nicely together.

Random startup generator

Hey guys so I found a really funny site for great ideas for new startups! With all this startup fever going around these days people can't seem to stop comparing sites to other sites.

For example, Quora is the Yahoo Answers for the tech savvy. This site my friend showed me just produces all sorts of random mixes of "it's this for that". One example is:

Okay this one makes sense I guess. It probably already exists but if not I bet people would go there if they needed rush delivery. Clicking around some more I find some interesting ones...

Mmm... that might work. Send your laundry in, somebody picks it up, does it and returns it for you? Maybe some really lazy people would go for this idea! But how about:

Derp... uh what? Am I going on this site to buy collegiate Jewish women or am I going on this site because it's targeted towards them? Hmm... This is kind of getting ridiculous...

Hey! This one I might actually go for! Hopefully it's got more control so hopefully my sessions won't end up with some 13 year old boy flashing me all the time. This could be really cool! And I'm somewhat flattered too since the bot probably thinks I'm attractive. I mean it's got to right? Why else would it throw this idea at me?

Hey! Wait a second. Stop flip flopping around so much. What are you trying to insinuate huh? Stupid website!

There's also another site that produces a pretty legit looking website and randomly generates a startup name and idea for it. Not as random or as funny as the one before it though.

Status update

1000 views, and top mark on Google! Bing is still weirded out though - nothing has changed on that end. Thanks for the help guys, this project has been going great so far. There are only a few days left in the Rankmaniac 2011 project.

One of the groups had the good idea of writing down lots of synonyms as a post since Google likes to mark people based on similarities as well. I'm going to look up synonyms for the two words Rank, Maniac, and Mania and alternate in using them throughout a paragraph.

Here I go with trying do this:

In the year 2011 (twenty eleven or two thousand and eleven), there has been a recent madness in which the hierarchy of fanatic teenaged girls have started a craze for overly reacting to an assortments of loony fixations. Some fear that this type of delirium amongst girls in the range ages from 6 to 18 might be a disease. Doctors have pinpointed symptoms in which girls go into a frenzied formation of squealing madness that only the most psychopathic person can withstand. Common triggers for this hysterical behavior include 5'3'' tall 16 year old singers with swooshing hair, giant abnormally sized stuffed animals, and Barack Obama. Be on the look out for the overenthusiastic diehard extremist girls. They can go into a berserk state at any moment and destroy the echelon of any hierarchal civilization.

Pikachu?!

Oh wait... Oh god... That's not pikachu! But it's so fricken cute! Awww... Animal cruelty? No it's just photoshop!

This is much better than those "real life pokemon" pictures they have floating around the nets. At least this guy is so adowable :3

Poor Mario

Ah Mario, that super human (though subhuman height) Italian plumber whose Princess friend constantly gets kidnapped. How woeful of a life he has in which any of the following things can kill him instantly (click to enlarge):

You'd think Peach by now would learn to stop getting kidnapped and putting her lovable Mario in danger so much... At least it allows us to play some fun games eh?

The Perfect Husband

Wouldn't all the girls in the world just love a guy like this?
--
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club when a cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello!"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
--
Youtube rendition!



Great advertisement I'd like to say. But it's sad to think that there probably are people this rich that can just go about buying anything they want! As a student I'm pretty poor myself and am strapped for cash all the time. The only luxury I can afford is to go eat out with my friends on the weekend.

Will you marry me?

...JK

Some cruel stuff! I hope this never happens to anybody that reads this blog. I have no clue what this guy was thinking when he put these up cause this is the worst kind of let down out there. There is no information about how far apart these posts on the road were but it was probably planned for maximum damage.

Actually I think that something like this is way better than a marriage proposal in public like at a ball game or something due to confusion with names. "Hi Jennifer, will you marry me?" Is not very specific. There are probably a couple of Jennifers out at the stadium that day.

You know what, now feel like this guy might be pulling everybody's leg since Jennifer is such a common name. All the Jennifers that see this message will probably be scared out of their minds due to the lack of specificity of the message. Funny guy. Bad way of breaking up.

Starcraft 2

People around me all seem to love Starcraft 2. It's a great game with lots of depth and variety that leads towards an enjoyable experience all around. The game has gotten very hot recently because of all the high-profile tournaments they have running in Korea.

But! People take the game too seriously! It's only a game in which you are meant to have fun with. This guy is a great example of what you should be doing when playing Starcraft:



Remember kiddies, it's only a game. Have fun. Relax. And stop whining every other minute.

Engineering students

Fifty-th post! To celebrate, here's a joke I read off the nets:
--
Two engineering students were biking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Sushi

So I went to a sushi buffet today with my friend. It was the worst experience of my life. For people that don't know how a sushi all-you-can-eat works, you order all the sushi you want for a fixed price. However, you must finish everything you order (no leaving the rice ball behind either!) or else you pay extra for whatever you can't finish.

My friend and I were pretty hungry at the beginning. We ordered a lot of great sushi and it was awesome. When the time for seconds came around, we though we could go for more... Oh how wrong we were! In the end I had to stuff my face with sushi to a point at which I felt like I would explode. And my friend didn't want either of us to die so he decided to cut it short and pay for the rest we couldn't finish.

...Sad thing is this is the third time this has happened...

Psychic!

Today's XKCD is pretty hilarious. Somehow girls always know what guys are thinking about. Strange eh?

"It's not hard when you have the same thought like 40 or 50 percent of the time."

Japanese Candy

Wow the Japanese have some crazy things! Here's an example of one. The "sushi" they are making consists of fruit flavored jello. The kids are meant to mix it all up and serve it as though it were actual sushi!

Man that's super cool. Sushi is a huge tradition in Japanese culture. Learning to be an actual legit sushi chef takes years upon years of proper training. I feel as though this product might corrupt the kids to make fun of sushi making, but I think the intent was to have them appreciate one of Japan's unique points.

Either way this is some cool stuff but I sure am glad that when I'm eating candy in America, it doesn't take 3 minutes to prepare!

Derp

Couldn't help but post this one. It brought a chuckle to the people around me as well when I saw it. Is it just me or do people on the internet tend to think alike in terms of humor? For some reason this picture had a sort of cathartic release ... though at the expense of a poor someone who got this car into an accident.

Either way if you don't know what derp means just say it a few times really slowly and I think you'll get it :)

It's a trap!

I'm so glad it doesn't snow in California now :)

Super bowl joke

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl.
As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty.
He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.
"No," the man replied, "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the first man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"
The second man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This will be the first Super bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shook his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

Family trees

I know that a lot of people know how bad the marriages between European royalty in the olden times were. People would constantly be marrying their cousins and relatives and that would be the norm. Still, it's hard to actually see what is going on without a picture:

What the?!?! The tree converged on itself? This is not how a family "tree" should look! And you wonder why the kings always made stupid decisions... Hopefully our own family trees don't look like this.

It's strange to think about your ancestors and all but it might be fun to trace where all your heritage started. Granted most people do not have the fame to have their family tree be so easily found like the European royalty, but I'm sure you can still trace back at least 3 generations if you try hard enough.

Randomness

My project team member is a troll. We have a website for CS141 that he constantly puts random javascript on! Yes, it is our fault that we do not sanitize our input but he keeps doing it! Whine whine whine.

Fun email I sent to Donnie:

Hello Mr. Redston,

I am slightly irked in finding out today, Thursday the 3rd of February of the glorious year 2011, that a promise that you, Mister Ronald Redston the Third, made to be yesterday, Wednesday the 2nd of February on the 11th year past the 2nd millennia, has been broken. On that fateful morning during glass my friends and I conversed about a certain "bib cat" if you do recall. We traversed the intertubes to find such an example of a "bib cat" and after painstaking work we decided to show you. It was during that time that you, the defendant in question, promised to put said "bib cat" onto your PowerPoint slides if I, the accuser, were to send you the picture of one "bib cat".

This internet mailing log shows my side of the transaction:

Subject: bib cat
Date: February 2, 2011 11:35:26 AM PST

One "bib cat" was sent to you by the internet mail and should have been received by you. If you do not take action and add an example of a "bib cat" to your notes, my fellow witnesses and I will not stand lightly to such a blatant disruption of our mutual trust. I hope you heed this warning and do not take it lightly.

Cordially,
The party for fair treatment of "bib cat" and "yak zap"

But yeah right now we're doing distributed file system stuff in class. It's going well, but there are still a lot of issues we need to work on.

ZOMBOCOM

Anybody remember this antique relic of the old websites? It makes me want to go dig up my Xanga with files hosted on Angelfire. I remember all the scrolling text that I imitated off of Yahooligans! Alternating caps in the title were the best too. Ah the old days...

XKCD 1/31/11

Randall Munroe could not have possibly been more right. Cept in the college life, there definitely should be a ramen box in there! I always tell myself that I should go and try to learn how to cook every now and then but I never get around to it. The main turn off is the few hours needed to go and clean stuff up afterwards :(